Dancing Undercover

Hello! I'm a girl, 22, who loves metal/rock n roll!

Favorite Bands: Metallica, RATT, CKY, Kix, Marilyn Manson, Damn Yankees, Rainbow, Motley Crue, LA Guns, Faster Pussycat, Pretty Boy Floyd, Def Leppard, Avenged Sevenfold, Slayer, Cinderella, Skid Row, Megadeth, My Darkest Days, Guns N Roses, Lizzy Borden, Night Ranger, Styx, Whitesnake, Anthrax, Judas Priest, Iron Maiden, HIM, Bullet for my Valentine, Scorpions, Dokken, Slaughter, Enuff Z'Nuff, KISS, Warrant, etc, etc, etc.

Fun Fact: I want to bang Keanu Reeves.

Posts tagged David Sedaris

Apr 12
“The real life of the party is flattened beneath the bed, taping actual sex encounters, not sitting cross-legged on the floor with a guitar, embarrassing himself and others.” David Sedaris

Apr 24
thoughtsunderlined:

It’s astonishing the amount of time that certain straight people devote to gay sex – trying to determine what goes where and how often. They can’t imagine any system outside their own, and seem obsessed with the idea of roles, both in bed and out of it. Who calls whom a bitch? Who cries harder when the cat dies? Which one spends the most time in the bathroom? I guess they think that it’s that cut-and-dried, though of course it’s not.
~ David Sedaris in When You Are Engulfed in Flames

thoughtsunderlined:

It’s astonishing the amount of time that certain straight people devote to gay sex – trying to determine what goes where and how often. They can’t imagine any system outside their own, and seem obsessed with the idea of roles, both in bed and out of it. Who calls whom a bitch? Who cries harder when the cat dies? Which one spends the most time in the bathroom? I guess they think that it’s that cut-and-dried, though of course it’s not.

~ David Sedaris in When You Are Engulfed in Flames


“He took a sip of my father’s weak coffee and spit it back into the mug. “This shit’s like making love in a canoe.””

David Sedaris - Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim (via dreamsuponthousandsofdreams)

It’s fucking near water!

(via rantsofagiantsquid-deactivated2)


“Usually when I was forced to compete, it was my tactic to simply give up. To try in any way was to announce your ambition, which only made you more vulnerable. The person who wanted to win but failed was a loser, while the person who didn’t really care was just a weirdo—a title I had learned to live with.” David Sedaris -“Full House” from Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim (via cassterborous)

“The baby raised a fist to her mouth, and Paul lowered his head into the crib. “That’s just your uncle Faggot and your raggedy-assed granddaddy talking some of their old stupid bullshit,” he said. And it sounded so… comforting.” David Sedaris, Dress Your Family in Corduroy and Denim (via fitzandthefool)

“The spelling was all over the place, the writing tiny and furious, bleeding into the mind-bending designs spewed out by mental patients who don’t know when to stop. It was the exact effect I’d been striving for in my bland imitation folk art, so not only did I feel violated, I felt jealous. I mean, this girl was the real thing.” David Sedaris - “The Girl Next Door” (via literaryquotations)

Apr 23
“A zoo is a good place to make a spectacle of yourself, as the people around you have creepier, more photogenic things to look at.” David Sedaris

“For as long as I can remember, my father saved. He saves money, he saves disfigured sticks that resemble disfigured celebrities, and most of all, he saves food. Cherry tomatoes, sausage biscuits, the olives plucked from other people’s martinis —he hides these things in strange places until they are rotten. And then he eats them.” David Sedaris

“The drama bug strikes hardest with Jews, homosexuals and plump women who wear their hair in bangs. These are people who, for one reason or another, desperately crave attention.” David Sedaris

“When asked “What do we need to learn this for?” any high-school teacher can confidently answer that, regardless of the subject, the knowledge will come in handy once the student hits middle age and starts working crossword puzzles in order to stave off the terrible loneliness.” David Sedaris

Page 1 of 3